The money usually involved in organising a wedding in Nigeria can be an
alarming amount, creating barriers for many intending love-birds.
Young
adult look up to their wedding day, a day cherish by most families as a
successful nurturing of a child to adulthood. Today, the cost of
hosting a crowd of people to feast for few hours is fast having a grind
on the finances of millions of homes even after the ceremony.
For
some, the cost of a wedding is enough reason to remain single under the
cover of still searching for the right bride. While some weddings are
adjudged ‘weddings of all times’, others are just subjects for‘petty
talk’.
Some weddings in Nigeria are said to have cost a fortune
going by the splendour and style not forgetting the big weight of
personality that grace the August Day. Magazines, newspapers,
photographers and television houses feast on the event to catch the best
shots of dresses and make-ups by worn by guests. Others are simply
another season of free food and gifts.
Eddy Osakwe, a
photographer in Kaduna and indigene of Edo state had a good time in his
chosen profession. In 1998 he married Agnes Adah, a trader from Benue
state. Their wedding sparked wave of society talk in Kakuri, an
industrial hub of Kaduna.
Little did the guests know that all
they enjoyed that day were largely bankrolled on the monies borrowed
from several sources; four years after the wedding, Osakwe was still
burdened by the debt he had collected to organised the wedding. The
marriage had been blessed with kids but the chains of debt still hung on
the door.
Osakwe, unfortunately, died 10 years later, leaving
his wife Agnes and four children with spill over debts some carried from
the cost of their wedding.
When LEADERSHIP Weekend went to town
to sample opinions of Nigerians on the matter, present economy reality
appeared to have taken a hold on people. Nigeria is said to have over
112 million people living below poverty line of less than $2 (N326) a
day. Also, with an alarming rate of unemployment among the youth and
graduates alike, wedding is no longer just the joining of two persons in
love in matrimony but a luxury generally cheered by all.
Deacon
Moses Oni, a marriage counsellor with Living Faith Church, Kaduna said
the cost of wedding depends on the individual’s ability. “We encourage
those that come through us to do it moderately between N100, 000 to
N150, 000,” he said.
He added that some people just want to
impress others by spending all they have and even go into debt to
organise wedding. “It is the blessing of God in your marriage that
matters and the big challenge in the Nigerian contest is how to pay the
dowry; after paying the dowry, you can get a cow or chicken for N50,
000, rent a gown for N10, 000, cake for N20, 000, reception and other
things should not cost more than N70, 000.
“Whatever you have put
on ground, bless it and everybody goes; if you kill 10 cows people will
still accused you of wastages and if you do less, complaints will still
come and that is why we came to a conclusion that with N150, 000 you
can have a wedding done in peace,” Oni stated.
For Dr Theophilus
Lagi, a University don at the Nasarawa State University, Keffi wedding
is based on the economy of the people involve. He said a businessman or a
worker cannot be compared to a fresh graduate who chooses to go into
marriage. He said factors like societal expectations, religion and
culture influence the cost of weddings.
He opined that in as much
as most of the economic cost is put on the groom with the expectation
of the bride always high, “any wedding that goes beyond N200, 000 is
extravagant.”
A socio-political scientist, Dr Usman Mohammed, was
of the view that no matter how bad the economy may be, there are
cultures that never changes. “There are traditional practices that must
be done to earn a man a bride and it so important because it’s a total
way of life; those cultural beliefs are so tangible to the union of
families and it goes to explain discipline and how a woman respects the
man.
“After following the rigours of culture, then the entire
family and society becomes solidify, we must look at it from that point
of sociological perspective that has made the cost of wedding more
expensive in some areas in Nigeria than other sections,” he said.
He
added that religion has help to water down some of the hard-up demand
of culture in wedding preparations to a more liberal form given many
options to follow.
Dr Mohammed said there is a new development in
the country where people are drifting away from cultures that demand so
much in wedding for cultures with lesser demands. In spite of class,
education and pride of place in the society, he will advise for a budget
of between N500, 000 and N1 million. “But in Islam, the most important
thing in wedding is the dowry which is not more than N36, 000 as her
wellbeing, health, moral upbringing and satisfaction will be the groom
responsibility for life,” Mohammed revealed.
Ustaz Ibrahim Kolo
based in Abuja said a dowry of N10, 000 is ideal for a hand of a bride.
“Islamically, that is the only thing that is supposed to be given in
marriage in Islam but the couple can spend whatever they like but it’s
not obligatory.”
Kolo advise for a total cost of N100, 000 for a
wedding saying that the life after the wedding is very important than
the wedding itself.
A newly weeded couple Matthew and Diane Nimba
based in Kaduna were of the view that N500, 000 would be ideal for a
wedding. “When we had ours, it cost us N780, 000 and we are were not
comfortable with it because it put a lot of strain on our finances; the
people involve should determine what they want to spend not the people
around them as today nobody cares about what we eat, drink or stay
again,” the couple said.
Pastor Ajibola Ayoade of Crystal Church,
Abuja said that since life is in phases, men are also in sizes.
“Everyone must be sincere to know his size per tie, the cost of wedding
is not determine by the society, custom or tradition is about the
players, the people involve realising what they can do or not in terms
of access to resources,” he said.
He advises prospective couples
that after the wedding, there is a life to live. There is no grading for
wedding, hence Ayoade urged Nigerians to be minded of what they spend
on wedding.
Head, Department of Psychology, Benue State
University, Makurdi, Prof. Josiah Shindi told LEADERSHIP Weekend that
many couples are being exploited in the name of marriage. “There is so
much eye-service and dishonesty in weddings which has led couples been
extorted of money leaving them with little to begin a home with.
“If
we are going to have any deadline, the principle of it should be
affordability because ideally, marriage is the exchange of vows between
the two families and is strictly a matter of the two families coming
together to agree on bride price and other ventures,” he said.
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